Problem solving

         Problems are going to happen. People have some sort of relationship with other people. These two things I have seen but have never really connected them. Because people have problems to overcome it bonds them closer when they work together to conquer them. Even if the two people fail at solving them, they have shared the experience of attempting to conquer. I have not fully analyzed this idea but it seems generally true and to me slightly interesting. I wonder how crucial this shared hardship experience is for any sort of relationship. I look at one of my relationships with a friend in high school and how we seemed best of buds but then once we got into college became apparent that the relationship had no substance. This confused me at the time but I might be able to link it to the fact that we talked about video games he played, classes, played chess, and that was it. Problem solving together makes the relationship more real to people or deeper. An additional example of this is my relationship with my dad; ever since I have started my business he has helped me design cards and find clients, (problem solving of sorts), and now with my car he has been there to rescue me off the freeway and find good shops to repair it while keeping me involved in the process (having me call them, and figure out which one will be the best). I'm always happy to rescue people, but it is good and unique how my dad keeps involvement; it changes the receiver's attitude from gratitude to comradeship which leads to bonding I believe. (Now it seems I could connect how in Gilgamesh and throughout many cultures and histories how comradeship is the pinnacle of the relationship people want with each other and write a paper on it, but I digress).

Updates

This week has been busy it seems. Since Friday the 24th I have been without my car and working on connections to find the best way to repair it. Today a mechanic and I took the engine out and my dad is coming home later today to take it to a mechanic to get it rebuilt. It was slightly disappointed to have my engine die simply because I didn't check the oil each time I got in it but I'm not terribly bummed out. Yesterday I mostly slept, read, and then listened to Zac teach Latin; it is very similar to Spanish. Or rather, I see how once you learn one language you can learn any other one much easier. On Monday I made baklava but it didn't turn out well but apparently it pleased the masses that ate it. I figured out a topic for my final paper in my Literature class: The different mindset of legacy between the Eastern and Western worlds during around 100BC. Monday night was not so good for me because I burned my left hand on a light, slept at the Porcu's where I got around 6 bug bites on my right hand and arm and woke up sore on the floor because of it. I had a book I was supposed to read by this Thursday for my history class but whenever I start reading it, no matter my state of tiredness I get through about 5 pages and then take a nap. Sunday I helped Teddy out with his car and did the comic. All through these days (if I've been at home) I have been eating curry, which not only tastes great but has kept me pleasantly sated. Saturday was hot and the church did service activities followed by the watching of Book of Eli. So there is a summary from Wednesday going backwards to Saturday with only Monday through Wednesday having any sort of major details. I hope my engine is repaired quickly and well and that nothing else goes wrong with my truck.

Gender Roles

For some reason I get annoyed when people start bringing up gender roles and trying to figure out where they fit. Firstly I thought gender was not actually the sex, so even if someone defines what each gender does (or should do) they are still going to have the process of looking at each individual to see which gender they fall in. (And what limits us from having an infinite number of genders?) I find the categorization pointless at trying to find who one should be as a person. Before I had heard of gender roles I never wondered what my function in society was as a male (and I still don't). So often I feel people make presuppositions with no basis, they say to themselves "I am a woman, this must mean something special." They do end up taking different roles because they decide to conform with society's expectations but there is no law saying they should be that way. God did not give different laws to woman than he did to man. We as humans are to love our neighbors and God and both genders have that ability. I'm not saying there is not gender inequality and frankly I do not know too much about gender roles but the way I see things is that the term begs to create rights and roles based on being part of minority rather than rights based upon one's humanity and that is the basis of my frustration.

Community, Spirituality, and Time

 Without explaining I'll dive right into my first blog.

How does one separate community from spirituality and time wasted from time well spent? So often it seems that a day is slept through or we wake up early yet accomplish nothing. When I was growing up my mother constantly badgered my brother and I to not play games but instead work, even if the work required for the day was completed; she was acutely aware of the idea of wasted time. I too, for a while now, feel a strain between enjoying others company and growing with them and avoiding games entirely to become more productive. Yet as I have attempted to cut myself off from games it only seems that humans are cursed to waste time. Rather than playing WoW or LoL, I go on facebook or watch YouTube, or maybe even play a game of basketball with a stranger. How can one qualify time wasted versus well spent? There must be a growth of something for that time to be utilized well, and there must also be balance. The last week I have hung out with several different people and not done what I had originally planned; I thought the time was well spent but it left me troubled and cranky. Contemplating why, I realized it was because I was not accustomed to spending my time away in that format and therefore it made me uncomfortable and I thought that my entire week may have been thrown away. Seeing the impossibility to judge clearly how valuable my time is to others I think the time was actually well spent but I need to prepare my mind for it in the future because being out of balance and peace of mind makes me unhelpful to others. Being recently conditioned by my classes to read books I have found that in order to feel productive I need to lace my time spent with friends with academic reading. I have not read the Bible in a week and believe that is one of the sources of uneasiness. Spending time organizing my thoughts is important for peace as well as some quiet time.

To address the first question I don’t know exactly. When looking and the words spirituality and community they are so broad and senseless; people say everything is spiritual and community is anyone you know. I taught myself to enjoy unhappiness, imperfection, and lack. These things being common it seems logical to embrace them rather than shun them. The word ‘enjoy’ might not fit fully but it seems better than ‘endure’ and I would like to think that I have achievement a sort of harmony in life rather than a struggling conflict. Knowing and embracing of these issues leads me to a content life and a sort of controllable destiny being formed out of my goals. One of these goals is to be in community with God. The carving of a heaven out of the earth is impossible but with spiritual clarity and patience God provides a haven of peace that I live in everyday, hungry or full, frustrated or calm. I try not to worry about problems and I generally succeed except in the realm of my community. I look at my community and so often I think, “What are we doing?, What am I doing?” There are the everpresent poor throughout the world and we feel obligated to quarter off a substantial amount of time to enjoying ourselves with videogames or role-playing. Jesus says, “Love your neighbor as you love yourself” but we have taken that too far meaning that we need to take care of ourselves and then love the neighbor. I love myself enough to play videogames for hours on end yet I have not done real service since 2008? That seems like I love myself much more than my neighbor. I am kind to all I meet and try to guide people to truth but there is a lack of effort still, but where can I love my neighbor more? I can list off excuses but the real problem I think is I am blinded to see how I can love my neighbor; I do not know where to even start.

Spirituality should be embedded in my community, I should arrive at the Porcu house and instead of hearing, “herp a derp brosef” there should be “You know what I learned/witnessed today…”. I want to help people, yet I see Alex going to Israel or those with World Vision doing so much more than I am right now. I don’t think I am called to the foreign mission field but everywhere is a mission field and we need to be involved. There must be a need network that allows Christians to see all the needs in their county community and plug into those. There is more in Riverside that needs to be done than painting my mom’s garage and wiring the church, and the act of doing something is of high importance for growing in your faith and Christians’ kindness should be evidently different than that of others. The book of James talks about how faith without works is dead and there are certainly deeds of kindness and kinship throughout our group but “it is easy to love those that love you” and we need to love those that we don’t know in order to show the divineness that we are called to imitate rather than have people think we are following a simple moral code. In conclusion maybe the reason that I struggle with the spirituality versus community is because I feel there is a definite separation, a gap that should not be there. I should go to my community to learn how I can help others, but instead I do not help others often enough.