So this week I learned how things will never go as planned, or rather this issue was revisited. I like things going on schedule, it means they are going right and that everything will be good, it keeps people happy and makes me happy. The schedule is important to me. This whole week my schedule continually died. Looking back I'm surprised I was actually able to finish things. Monday was alright. Tuesday I was supposed to read a lot of words from a book but that didn't happen. Wednesday being behind on book reading I sat and thought about the book, and then somehow at the end of the day, staying up late I actually finished my book report. These days did not go the course I planned but ultimately it didn't matter.
The rest of the week mattered more and caused me to stress out. Thursday I really wanted to see Allison and thought I be able to drive my dad's van around. The van didn't happen so I figured out a plan that would still accomplish everything I needed to. Things happened such as my engine needing to be unloaded, Josh wanting to buy booze, Zac being 15 or 20 minutes late to school, and it being much later and more awkward to borrow my dad's van when originally I thought Josh and Zac would be going to his house and I could hitch a ride. (I thought this because I had talked with Zac to figure out a plan and there was a consensus that the ending up at his place was the best for the next day and even the overall efficiency). Finally everything worked out except my timeliness.
Friday, it was pretty good most of the day. I did my lawn route. During it I saw a lawn that needed mowing and talked to the guy out in front of the house and offered him a price and then he said, "You're an answer to prayer." He told me a little about his life and it was good to see an old man still so passionate for Christ and willing to share. After my route I hung out with Zac and Josh at CBU for 2 hours before going to the men's study at Shane's. As we were walking to the care Zac says that work that I agreed to do with Bryson was this Saturday. Ugh. Thinking back to when he texted me I swear that he said he needed me October 12th. I now had a conflict of times because I was supposed to work with the mechanic on Saturday to put my engine back in. (The mechanic is not available often) I call Bryson to make sure of this, and find out times and such since had not mentioned it again to me since I agreed to it a couple weeks ago. He had never told me what I would be doing, what time or where it was, and so it was stunning to think that I still didn't know anything when it was 6pm and it was to start at 6am the next day. As I get information from him about it I ask him if he knows anyone else that would be able to do it or replace me, because most of the time the proctoring of the test is a job he gives to friends to be nice because it is 80 dollars and easy work. I guess he has people back out on him or I asked in the wrong tone because he got defensive and says, "Its too late to back out now". That hurt. I try to keep my word and do what I agree to, and half failing the day before followed by this conundrum was a bit overwhelming and I was just asking him if he knew an easy replacement. So as I drive to Craig's house with my brother to get carpooled to study I think "Josh could replace me, he doesn't really have anything he does on weekends." So I tell him my situation and I ask if he could please replace me how it would be a big favor and he tells me, "I don't think I want to do that. I told my I would come over tomorrow." (Both him and I try to preform what we say). I was disheartened though because I 'called in a favor' and he says 'no' and also because he never specified what time he would be over the next day so he could get a ride there a little after lunchtime, it didn't see like it would be that big of a deal. Next I try texting / calling my friends. I realize I don't have many friends. None of them respond. I next try contacting the mechanic to see if he can come later in the day. He doesn't respond. Then I call Cody, and he says he would be willing to do it. Sweet finally. I call Bryson, he says they can't be in high school so Cody isn't eligible and restates the idea that I need to do this. I then decide to call my mom. My thought was if I can explain my situation my mom would be okay with the situation and allow for my brother to come by later in the day. Not to hold this over her head but a couple months ago if that I did a big favor for her (got her car towed) and thought in turn she could bear without my brother for half the day(especially since he favors are connected (getting my engine fixed)); I also offered to come over and help her with my brother and then stay longer than my brother on Sunday to make up for the lost time. I explain the situation and she tells me, "You always give me the short end of the stick. Whenever you come over you're not over long enough and when you have a time where you might have been planning to see me and some game with your friends is at the same time you always choose your friends. You have to understand shit happens and you just have to suck it up, I have stuff I have to deal and how are you going to replace all the time lost of not having Josh tomorrow? ...you never help me out and you haven't even been coming over once a month like you said you would." "I have been coming over once month {actually more than that}and didn't know it would be that big of a deal to ask if I could borrow Josh. I have had difficulties getting over there recently and that is one of the things I'm trying to fix tomorrow. Like I said, I would be willing to be there ...{longer}... in order to more than replace your time lost, what do you need help with?" "Sometimes its less productive with more people {implying I can't help, I asked further and she never told me what she needed help with, (in her defense probably because she didn't want my help when it is forced)}, you just want to get out of a situation, well tough shit, these things happen."
I then sat there, outside Shane's house, with a sick feeling in my stomach because I tried my sources and found no help. I decided to text Allison, it was late by now and she was probably asleep but maybe she knew someone that would be able to proctor, no response. I call my dad knowing I'll sound like a failure and I literally couldn't bring myself to say I wasn't going to be at the house for the mechanic tomorrow. After that Scott pulls through and agrees to replace me.
Everything worked out miraculously. It was a victory but the stress already had beat me up so that I even now cannot appreciate how simple it worked out. I'm going to have to work on my engine tomorrow, sure, but overall it worked out. Getting a favor was more difficult and painful than I thought and the experience showed me harsher tones of a couple people and the fact of the proverbs I was studying that night, don't give an oath. I feel stupid for taking things so critically because Bryson didn't want to become in a situation similar to mine so he was simply making sure I followed through. I just hope my mom is okay, she seemed overwhelmed, I hope what my dad said the other day is not true.
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